13-07-2008, 07:54 AM

13 July 2008
WALL*E
ANIMATION Cert: U. Rating: 5/5
Bacon
I've always thought dictionaries could be made simpler.
If you don't know what "cat" means, the definition: "a quadruped mammal of the feline genus" won't help.
They should have photos (as a bonus, this would make the schoolboy pastime of looking up all the rude words much, much more fun).
It's harder to use pictures for concepts, but it would work.
What does the word "handsome" mean? Well, there'd be a picture of me underneath it.
And you could use that same photo for "rugged", "manly", "attractive", "vain", "arrogant" and "deluded".
But when it comes to "perfection", "masterpiece" and "tremendous", there's only one contender: a picture of the tiny robot Wall*E.
This is one of the most enjoyable, magical, remarkable films I've ever seen. Since I've been doing this column, I've seen well over a thousand movies, and not a single one has more imagination, more moments of jaw-dropping beauty, or more minutes of sheer wonder than Wall*E.
The animated film company Pixar might just have the highest hit rate in the history of film. Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc, The Incredibles, Ratatouille - pretty much every one of their films is a modern classic, a triumph of style, originality and timeless storytelling (their biggest disappointment was Cars, and that's still better than 99 per cent of kid's films).
Well, with Wall*E, Pixar have managed the impossible.
They've just got even better.
Wall*E is a rusting, boxy little robot (he's like a strange cross between Ronnie Corbett and a Furby that's had its fur torn off). His name stands for "Waste Allocation Load Lifter: Earth Class." His job consists of sifting through the vast mountains of rubbish that cover the now-empty planet Earth - the humans all headed off into space when the garbage dumps became unmanageable. So Wall*E spends his days cheerily pootling around the empty planet, compacting the trash, and listening to the soundtrack off a Hello, Dolly! VHS (and if his contented buzzes remind you of R2-D2 in Star Wars, it's because both were created by Star Wars veteran Ben Burtt).
But everything changes for Wall*E when a robot called EVE turns up looking like a cross between an iPod and Casper The Friendly Ghost.
EVE's a kind of reconnaissance robot, sent out by what's left of humanity, and Wall*E falls head over traction-strips for her (I'm not sure if robots have sexes, but I'm openminded, so good luck to them).
After a period of wooing (which might be the highlight of the entire film), EVE takes him back to meet the humans on a vast spaceship. I'm not saying any more because the less you know, the more fun you'll have watching it unfold.
All you need to know is Wall*E is as good as films get, and the magic, wonder and imagination equal anything I've ever seen. Ever. And all you need to do is go and see it. You won't be disappointed.

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